Question: I think my roommate is gay. I’m OK with that, but I’m not sure I’m comfortable with the idea of him having sex in the room. How do I bring this up if I’m not even sure he’s gay? And if he is, how do I get him to stop?
Chick: What do you mean by “stop?” Stop him from being gay? Or stop him from having sex with another man? You certainly can’t stop someone from being gay; it’s not a choice but rather how someone is born. As for asking him not to have sex, it’s like him telling you he’s uncomfortable with your having sex and asking you not to have it in the room. It’s understandable if you don’t want to be around when he’s fooling around – most people don’t like hearing their roommates in the throes of passion, no matter who the partner. But don’t turn his hookups into an issue simply because he is gay. Keep in mind, too, that he might not be gay. Stereotypes will often lead you astray. I recommend that you don’t confront your roommate on the issue; he could really be struggling with his sexuality right now and for you to address something so personal would create an awkward situation for you both. And if he did admit he was gay, what would that prove to you? It’s better to mind your own business instead.
Dick: Who cares if he is having gay sex? At least someone in your room is getting some. It’s good to know which way your roommate swings, though, because at least you’ll know if you can leave a girl you are interested in unattended on the couch without worrying about him swooping in. It sounds like you have much bigger things to worry about than your roommate’s sex life. The best thing to do in this situation is to make sure you are hooking up with a girl before he can come home every night, because then he will be sexiled instead of you.