GW erected a majestic tribute to mulletkind earlier this year, the Alxxndreq Pshurokni Mullet statue accompanied with a bronzed Pegathraxica, the God and ruling authority of mulletfolk, unveiled in honor of GW’s own $36,000 mullets.
Few are aware that Pushkin, distinguished author and poet, was the leader of the Bolshevik Muuletskis. This elite group of Russian freedom fighters defied Communist rule to have freedom of hair length, trailer park residence and choice of music, including such insurgent revolutionary artists as Winger, Slaughterhouse and Quiet Riot.
The Mullet would like to take a brief moment to raise awareness of some exemplary mullets that can be found around the GW campus.
The Lawenforce-mullet
Dolores Stafford
Mulletude: 10
UPD Director Dolores Stafford sports a tough, no-nonsense, permullet (that’s short for “permed mullet”) ideal for the fast-paced world of law enforcement. Stafford espouses the true ideals of Mulletdom, embodying good taste and style with her meticulous mane.
The Crocodile Hunter Mullet
George Lidster
Mulletude: 8
Men’s soccer coach George Lidster models a classic mullet – spiked on top, generous length in the back. Lidster, a Brit, adds international flavor to the realm of Mulletdom.
The Hair Club for Mullet
Tom Penders
Mulletude: 8
Why hasn’t Tom Penders’ mullet changed in years? It’s fake. That’s right, Penders is a member of the Hair Club for Mullet. You might think he dons a permullet, but you’d be wrong. Whether defending the belligerence of his ballas or passing the blame for an awful season, Penders adds a slime-ball touch to even the classiest of coifs.
The I’m-too-sexy-for-my mullet
Peter Konwerski
Mulletude: 7
Peter Konwerski wears a versatile mullet ideal for the college administrator/professor on the go. Whether in a ponytail, slicked back or free and flowing, this mullet looks fab-u-lous. While some may question his mulletude, make no mistake. When he goes into the barber shop, Konwerski asks for “short on top, long in the back.”