Readers’ pick: Carvings

Countless food reviews and local guides have crowned D.C.’s Call Your Mother Deli the ultimate bagel destination in the District for tourists and natives alike. 

And the deli can be the ideal bagel spot — but only if you’re willing to look past a constant mob of patrons and an overpriced menu for a lackluster sandwich. 

With classics like their $10.50 “Sun City” bacon, egg and cheese bagel to eclectic picks like their exclusive $2.60 Cheez-It cream cheese, Call Your Mother succeeds in drawing the eyes of bagel fiends to its loud aesthetics and reimagined breakfast classics. But dense bagels, a gaudy pink decor and bizarre menu creations characterize an ordinary visit to the D.C. deli, solidifying the bagels as nothing to write home about, let alone call your mother.

The self-proclaimed “Jew-ish” deli houses six locations spread throughout the District, the closest of which is at least a 10-minute trek from campus. D.C. foodies can spot a Call Your Mother location by its signature hot pink paint on the exterior of the shops, making the deli the subject of countless artsy Instagram stories and aesthetic bagel photos.

But inside, the deli is less than picture-perfect, with legions of patrons often winding out the door, reminiscent of either the line to a Taylor Swift concert or the waiting room of the Adams Morgan MedStar urgent care. When I am forced to resort to satisfying my bagel cravings at Call Your Mother, I’ve often had to order my bagels at least 30 minutes in advance through their website before making the trek to the West End location with friends.

After spending up to half an hour slowly inching into the building to order, allowing your hunger to escalate to starvation, you’re faced with a wide spread of bagel options with each signature sandwich costing at least $7. For the GW students who check their GWorld balance on the regular, Call Your Mother doesn’t accept GWorld, and its menu will hurt your pockets — as opposed to a trusty $4 bagel from GW Deli covered by the meal plan.

Upon receiving your bagel, the results are often disappointing. Call Your Mother serves a small, dense bagel that makes the whole sandwich taste dry. You’ll find yourself reminiscing about the large, pillowy bagels from Bethesda Bagels or the chewy, buttery bagels from Bullfrog Bagels. The problem with Call Your Mother isn’t that it’s bad, it’s just that there are better, more affordable options around D.C.

The next time bagel connoisseurs think about indulging in Call Your Mother’s eccentric menu items and vibrant scenery, they should consider the diverse bagel vendors spread across the District instead of falling for a tourist-trap deli with bagels that make any foodie want to hang up on their mother.