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The GW Hatchet

AN INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWSPAPER SERVING THE GW COMMUNITY SINCE 1904

The GW Hatchet

Serving the GW Community since 1904

The GW Hatchet

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Crime log: Subject barred after shoplifting at bookstore
By Max Porter, Contributing News Editor • February 26, 2024

@FakeHatchet elected editor in chief of The Butter Knife

@FakeHatchet elected editor in chief of The Butter Knife

The Hatchet produces an April Fools’ issue every year, but things started to feel a little different this year when a parody Twitter account started putting a satirical, 140-character twist on our stories.

So we invited @FakeHatchet to join our newspaper – known as The Butter Knife for today – and to serve as a guest editor for our annual parody issue. (He writes about how the University is taking over the #OnlyAtGWDeli.)

Some of our other favorites include a special report on how GW is actually named after George Washington Carver, what our sex columnist hears from her roommate, and how administrators are getting a “Real Housewives”-esque reality TV deal.

This is our annual roast. It’s the one day of the year when our editors and reporters step back from the student debates and campus issues, wind up with our best pitch, and throw an egg in the face of newsmakers. (Sometimes the egg gets on our face if we aren’t funny, but that’s also an annual tradition.)

Yes, there is real news happening today (including a mayoral election) and you can keep up with that #RealNews on our blogs.

Live. Laugh. Tweet.

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