A look at the world through my eyes. Well, just part of the world.

Sweating, heart racing, shortness of breath.

There’s only one thing these uncomfortable symptoms can indicate: I still don’t have a summer internship.

As the end of second semester nears closer, all I can focus on is my lack of plans for my summer break. I know there’s still time, but I can’t help but feel the odds are against me.

I thought I was being proactive by sending out a few applications in February, but all I got in return were those “Thank you for your application” e-mails. Translation: What makes you think you’re so special?

My dad took the liberty of sitting me down one day to tell me, “Don’t feel bad if you don’t get an internship this summer. Most people don’t get one until after their junior year.”

He’s always had a nice way of letting me down easy.

I landed a job at a nearby pool last summer, which turned out to be one of the best experiences I’ve ever had in the workforce. Though I was part of the maintenance staff, I lied to most people and told them I was a lifeguard. Almost everyone believed me until they noticed the sock tan.

But this year my resume’s longing for a little extra action on the side, especially considering I’m apparently the only person who thinks it’s a big deal I was editor-in-chief of my high school’s literary arts magazine.

And it doesn’t help to ease my emotional instability when some of my Facebook friends think I care that they were offered their dream job this summer. No, I will not “like” the fact that you’re beating me at the unspoken game of life.

Of course, there is a big part of me that just wants to spend my summer blasting Blink 182 and hosting beerbeques. But I can only listen to “Anthem Part Two” so many times before I realize that I’m not, nor have I ever been, that angry with my parents.

As it becomes increasingly difficult to ignore the voice in my head telling me I’m going to live in my parents’ basement forever, I’m beginning to realize the true reason behind the stress of my situation. When I finished the agonizing college application process two years ago, I told myself I would never again let myself second-guess my own abilities.

It’s shameful how wrong I was.

The truth is our society is full of applications, tests, interviews and auditions. For God’s sake, they probably make kids tryout for little league baseball these days.

Nothing ever just falls into our hands anymore. Success requires hard work, perseverance, and a bunch of other concepts that aren’t part of my vocabulary.

So, I won’t let myself give up. I’m going to continue to vie for employers’ attention, and if I don’t end up getting that perfect internship, there’s always next year.

Or I’ll just sell my body.