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The GW Hatchet

AN INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWSPAPER SERVING THE GW COMMUNITY SINCE 1904

The GW Hatchet

Serving the GW Community since 1904

The GW Hatchet

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Biden nominates alums to cabinet positions
By Sachini Adikari, Contributing News Editor • May 2, 2024

Just Joshin’

A look at the world through my eyes. Well, just part of the world.

Josh Perlman
Josh Perlman. Hatchet File Photo

She hoisted herself out of her seat at the table in front of mine and walked over to my side.

Bending over, she whispered, “Will you watch my stuff for a minute?”

Okay, let’s get a few things straight. I said yes, but only because I asked her the same question five minutes before this. And, second, could I guarantee that I’d really be keeping an eye on her belongings?

The only realistic way I would notice someone stealing her things would be if that individual chose to do so while dressed as Ariel from “The Little Mermaid.”

Just kidding. Jasmine is the only Disney princess who can catch my attention.

The truth is, “Principles and Practice of Contemporary American Politics” is far too interesting for my eyes to be routinely glancing at the table in front of me. Plus, I’m a sucker for alliteration.

I always wonder what would happen if someone asked me to watch their stuff and I simply responded with, “No.” There would be no further explanation. Just no.

Of course, there are always those people who politely decline by providing an arbitrary excuse that might not even be true.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was planning on going to the bathroom during the next three minutes,” they might say.

I think it’s time we took a real hard look at this microcosm of society we live in and ask ourselves: What kind of people are we that we feel comfortable leaving the Macbook Pro we bought with our very own parents’ money unattended in a crowded room?

After all, densely populated areas provide the ideal distraction for a thief. Most people wouldn’t notice a crime until they get a GW Alert text message informing them a black or Hispanic male ranging from 5-foot-1 to 6-foot-3-inches was seen stealing a young woman’s laptop in Gelman Library.

Are we naïve and overly trustworthy, or are we risk-taking adrenaline junkies searching for our next taste of danger?

My friend once convinced me to leave my laptop with her sorority sister while we walked to Ivory Tower and ate dinner. Not knowing anything about this girl or what secret hacking tools she might have inside that Longchamp tote bag of hers, I found myself fidgeting all through the meal.

I was so nervous that my buffalo chicken pita from Pita Pit unraveled completely in my hands. Oh wait, that would have happened anyway.

But here I was – a shell of my former self.  My dad would be so disappointed in me, I thought. I already let it slip to him that I rarely use the lock he gave me to attach my laptop to my desk while I sleep.

It’s time we all start acting like the responsible adults we’re terrified of becoming when we graduate. We also need to start being honest with one another. So, next time someone asks you to watch his or her belongings, be honest.

Tell that person, “I will do my best, but who knows what will happen while I highlight this next sentence.”

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