Serving the GW Community since 1904

The GW Hatchet

AN INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWSPAPER SERVING THE GW COMMUNITY SINCE 1904

The GW Hatchet

Serving the GW Community since 1904

The GW Hatchet

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Three alumni join Board of Trustees
By Hannah Marr, News Editor • June 21, 2024

April Fools’ Issue: Calendar

Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue.

Thursday

Complain about GW biddies
Join fellow Foggy Bottom-ites to rant about how GW students like to listen to music while they walk.
Marvin Center, Room 201 – 7 to 8:30 p.m.


Friday

Students should be caged
Help neighbors devise a plan to confine students to campus buildings on weekends and not let them go out.
Marvin Center Dungeon – 5 p.m.


Saturday

Halt GW’s expansion
Enlist in the Foggy Bottom Militia to aide in the war against GW’s expansionist policies.
Foggy Bottom – All day, every day


Sunday

Protest brick sidewalks
We all know brick sidewalks are dangerous. Join a riot against the sidewalks to show GW administrators that the sidewalks are lethal.
Streets on campus – 2 to 4 p.m.

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