Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue.

Thursday

The Failing Future of Journalism

Listen to industry experts discuss journalism’s future and the top five reasons that future is bleak. Free food will be provided for SMPA majors.
Jack Morton Auditorium | 7 to 9 p.m.

Friday

“You’re Not Going to Get a Job”

The University Counseling Center has waived its $50 fee for all SMPA majors during this one-time-only acceptance event featuring industry leaders.
University Counseling Center | 5 to 7 p.m.

Saturday

The Golden Age of Journalism

Learn about how journalism used to inspire change during media’s golden years. Industry leaders on hand will also discuss why the 21st century should be called the Dark Age of Journalism. Career advice – about ditching journalism – will be given to all SMPA majors.
Mitchell Hall Theater | 8 to 11:30 p.m.

Sunday

Does the World Really Need Journalists?

Debate with industry leaders about the changing role of journalists in the 21st century and why some are saying journalists don’t matter. Basic survival kits will be given to all SMPA majors.
Marvin Center Columbian Square | 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.