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The GW Hatchet


The GW Hatchet

Serving the GW Community since 1904

The GW Hatchet

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Top 10 things to be excited about

It’s the beginning of the year, and there are some things we are just plain excited about. The Scene has compiled a list of the top 10 things we are looking forward to at the moment.

10. Maybe it’s just that “Snakes on a Plane” has revved up our willingness to see so-bad-they’re-good movies, but we couldn’t contain ourselves when we saw the preview for “The Protector.” A Thai martial arts film, it could end up being really good, or it could end up being like the second and third Matrix movies. All we know is that rapper RZA is involved in the score (Wu! Tang! Wu! Tang!), and that in the preview a speedboat somehow leaps out of the water to blow up a helicopter. Frankly, that’s enough for us.

9. The Pipettes record, deceptively titled “We Are the Pipettes,” is mandatory listening for dance parties across the land this fall. The British girl group sounds like the Ronettes, all shoo-bop and hooks taking you higher and higher. We dare you to listen to “Pull Shapes,” the auditory equivalent of injecting 10 cans of Red Bull directly into your bloodstream, and not move your feet.

8. Paris Hilton’s new record, titled “Paris,” comes on the heels of lead single “Stars Are Blind,” which defied expectations by not immediately become the Worst Song Ever Released. Asked about her upcoming opus, the heiress reportedly said, “I, like, cry, when I listen to it, it’s so good.” Sure.

7. Season two of “Weeds” has started, and it’s as good as ever. If you haven’t seen it, take advantage of the Showtime that your parents are paying for, and watch the story of a drug-dealing suburbanite single mother. Take in the moral qualms and quirky dialogue Mondays at 10 p.m.

6. Although he no longer has a job at Spin after the magazine’s palace coup, Chuck Klosterman is still a contender for the heavyweight championship of rock journalism. Read some of his best previously published material in “Chuck Klosterman IV: a Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas.” Dead rock stars and sociological analysis of “Saved by the Bell” have made up previous tomes, so be prepared for an idiosyncratically engaging read.

5. Judging by his 18 minutes of G-Unit baiting on mixtape track “300 Bars and Runnin’,” it seems like the Game has learned how to rap, which is reason to be excited about sophomore effort, “The Doctor’s Advocate.” On the other hand, Cam’ron released a dis track, “You Got to Love It,” that is unbearably terrible, as well as just foolish. Rule No. 1 of beef tracks: don’t go after Jay-Z. Paradoxically, Cam’ron’s mistake is good news, because Hova’s in the studio, and he’s best when he’s mad.

4. Hyper-literate barstool rockers the Hold Steady return in October with “Boys and Girls in America.” The title is a nod to “On the Road” by Jack Kerouac, and you shouldn’t be surprised if the record offers the same feel as the author’s Benzedrine prose masterwork. The screw-ups and saints that populate singer Craig Finn’s songs have always seemed to be running in the same circles as Sal Paradise and other Kerouac creations.

3. Our heart skipped a beat when we saw that in Spring 2007, “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” will hit the big screen (again). The computer-generated animation in the trailer doesn’t capture the warmth of the original (to imagine the new version, think “Sin City” meets your cherished memories of being a six-year-old), but come on, it’s the freaking Ninja Turtles. If you’re not excited about this, you clearly had a deprived childhood.

2. Swan Lake’s debut record, “Beast Moans,” doesn’t come out until November 21, and the only song available at the moment is the hauntingly sad and atmospheric “All Fires.” That doesn’t really matter, though, when the one song is so good you’ll end up hitting repeat about 50 times in a row when you hear it.

1. Finally, I have four words for you: “David Hasselhoff: the Musical.” Plans are being made to bring the story of the erstwhile Baywatch star/folk hero to life on stage. Playing the ‘Hoff? Himself, of course.

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