Serving the GW Community since 1904

The GW Hatchet


The GW Hatchet

Serving the GW Community since 1904

The GW Hatchet

EXTRA WEB SHIT: A-Team joins fight against GW

The Swamp Ass Association unilaterally agreed Friday to employ the assistance of the A-Team, hoping to force GW to cease and desist its planned expansions and current projects into the surrounding neighborhood.

The resident association has long resisted University efforts to expand in all directions. They argue GW expansion undermines the historical character of the area and lowers the overall quality of life of its residents.

Despite many hard-fought battles within the Bored of Zoning your Ass, GW has continued its expansion unabated.

“They will stop at nothing,” claims Swamp Ass Association head
Mightbe Strongass. “We have finally decided to do something about it!”

Seemingly unconcerned about the elite fighting crew, GW insists its efforts will not be quelled.

“We will stop at nothing!” claimed one GW official close to the situation.

The Swamp Ass association is convinced that the A-Team will rectify the situation, citing the team’s history as reason for optimism.

“In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum-security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune,” Strongass said.

“At first it will appear as if GW is winning. They may very well capture young attractive female members of the Swamp Ass Association. Things will look bleak,” Strongass claims. “But when things look worst theme music will spur frenzied planning and the metamorphosis of B.A.’s van into a more deadly vehicle.”

Strongass insists the combination of Hannibal’s strategic skill, Face’s good looks, B.A.’s raw strength and Murdoch’s wacky antics assure the end to GW’s rein of terror.

“It won’t be pretty,” Strongass warned. “Superfluous explosions will mar the campus. Many cars will be overturned, but occupants will escape to safe distances before gas tanks ignite. And B.A. will perform a number of slow motion body slams.”

For its part, GW underestimates the A-Team and believes itself too powerful to be taken on by so few.

“Brash confidence is our biggest asset,” University President Super Jovial ThankstoFBAmurders said. “The A-Team doesn’t stand a chance. We out number them ten to one. Our evil ways will continue indefinitely.”

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