Devon Fitzgerald, a freshman majoring in international affairs, is a Hatchet opinions writer.
The scene begins, and an impeccably dressed Mellie Grant graces the television screens of devoted Shonda Rhimes fans across the nation. Her icy stare is countered by the fiery gaze of the one and only, Olivia Pope.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, please leave D.C. immediately. Soon you won’t have anything else to discuss at brunch because “Scandal” is back Thursday.
As a die-hard fan of “Scandal,” “House of Cards” and “The West Wing,” I can tell you that living in the District isn’t exactly what TV makes it out to be. I came to D.C. misinformed and ill-prepared. And I blame you, Shonda Rhimes.
“Scandal” and “House of Cards” will make their much-anticipated returns soon, so here’s a list of misconceptions fans may have – and a couple things that prove true – about living in the District.
What they get wrong
1. Fitzgerald Grant III is not our president. I know this may come as a shock to many, so hold on to your hats, ladies and gentlemen. Although many white middle-aged Republican men have run this great country in the past, not only is Fitzgerald Grant not our current president – he actually never was president. He is a fictional character played by the lovely Tony Goldwyn.
2. The grass in the president’s backyard isn’t nearly as luscious as it’s made out to be. Within the gates, the White House lawn is the most meticulously maintained grass you have ever seen. But The Ellipse, nestled between the White House and the National Mall, resembles a post-rainstorm soccer field.
And yet, the state of the grass reflects our country’s enthusiasm for democracy: These fields are the stomping grounds of the masses who come in droves every day to stare at the White House. Interest in our president is still alive and well, and it doesn’t seem like it will wane anytime soon.
3. The president and First Lady will not have casual brunch on their balcony. They just won’t. In the most recent season of “Scandal,” President Grant and his wife, Mellie, frequently dine on the balcony. Sometimes they speak casually, sometimes they fight, and more often than not, Mellie is wearing Ugg boots and sweatpants. Maybe I don’t hang around the White House enough, but I have never seen Michelle Obama in Ugg boots. To be frank, I hope I never do, and I have faith that I never will.
4. Though we all wish it existed, there is no such thing as Freddy’s BBQ Joint. I cannot emphasize this point enough.
5. When the president needs medical attention, he does not go to James Madison. In the second season of “Scandal,” President Grant is (spoiler alert) shot and “rushed” to the fictional James Madison Hospital.
I’m sure that if James Madison Hospital were a real place, it would do a bang-up job, but when President Ronald Reagan was shot in 1981, he was brought to none other than GW Hospital. Just a thought.
Plus, GW Hospital is where the president and his deputy chief of staff were taken after the shooting on “The West Wing.” If GW Hospital is good enough for Jed Bartlet and Josh Lyman, then it’s good enough for me.
What they get right
5. (Almost) everyone is impeccably dressed. Although not all the women are wearing perfectly tailored white pantsuits, and the men are not always decked out in various assortments of purple ties – opting more often for Sperrys, button-down shirts and salmon shorts – D.C. is undoubtedly a well-dressed city overall.
6. It actually seems very plausible that Kevin Spacey could push me onto the tracks of the Metro. Metro stations are rather dark, and there are large platforms, conducive to lone she-wolf journalists like Kate Mara’s character to stray from the pack and get pushed to one’s premature death. I have yet to see Kevin Spacey lurking down there, but I did see Newt Gingrich once.
