Kellianne King is a senior majoring in history.
One night during my first semester at GW, I sat alone in my Somers Hall room holding a bottle of pills.
I’ll never forget how alone I felt listening to someone laugh while passing in the hall. Or how cold and sterile the walls looked. Or how the silence seemed to buzz in my ears.
I sat and cried quietly for the life I wanted but thought I would never have. I was sure it was impossible for me to live life the way others could.
That night, a friend happened to come by and knock on my door. When she found me in obvious distress, she notified my house proctor, and I spent the next hour or so on a suicide hotline. From there, I began sessions at the University Counseling Center.
The deaths of Sean Keefer, Benjamin Asma and Lynley Redwood have rocked our University community. Keefer’s death was ruled a suicide by the D.C medical examiner, while Asma’s was an apparent suicide, but is still unconfirmed. Redwood’s cause of death has not been confirmed.
When we lost Keefer in January, it felt as if I had been punched in the stomach. It pulled me back into those memories of severe depression and anxiety of my freshman year – of feeling trapped in my thoughts and alone in my Vern dorm room.
That’s why in the wake of Asma and Redwood’s deaths, I am not just overcome with grief. I am indignant for action.
The UCC has undergone major reforms, and I applaud the University’s efforts to bring in new staff and make services more accessible. Director Silvio Weisner has called for more space to bring in more clinicians and accommodate growing demand, and GW has tried to meet these requests by moving the center closer to campus.
But there is much more work to be done. Mental health problems do not patiently wait for resources to open up or task forces to convene. Goals to improve counseling shouldn’t be long-term ones – they should be immediate ones.
Here are some specifics. Information about the UCC should be posted and available in every administrative, academic and residential building on both campuses. Along with a fire escape plan attached to their door, students should find steps to handle a mental health crisis.
And perhaps most importantly, counseling services cannot be a Foggy Bottom-exclusive privilege. On my worst days on the Vern my freshman year, I could hardly get out of bed, never mind ride the Vern Express and walk to K Street. It is not enough for the University to provide a few temporary counselors to West Hall residents as students cope with these most recent tragedies. Full-time counselors are needed.
I’m going to graduate in May, and in my time since freshman year I’ve starred in plays, landed internships, attended conferences and had the time of my life.
I know I am one of the lucky ones. I survived.
While I hesitated to write this, knowing I would be forced to remember a time when I didn’t think life was possible, I’m doing it for Keefer, Asma, Redwood and every Colonial struggling in silence.
We can’t turn back time. But we can promise now to speak up and to make sure every GW student gets to do what I soon will: beam with pride and love as I turn my tassel.