No one really reads 14th century poetry anymore.

There probably isn’t much in any of those writings that’s all that relevant to today, except for one dish: the latke, first referenced in a literary work in a 1322 poem about baking. Latkes are a potato pancake and a staple of Hanukkah and Jewish culture, beloved for their crunchy flavor and homey warmth.

But they also aren’t something you’ll necessarily find in every single grocery store around the holidays the way you would Christmas cookies. To assist in any and all latke craving dilemmas, three intrepid Hatchet reporters braved the bitter D.C. cold after researching the District’s most popular latkes in search of the best one in the city.

No Hanukkah miracle at Call Your Mother

Brooke Shapiro | Staff Writer

As a Jew who grew up in a New Jersey town where only 0.6 percent of the population practiced Judaism, the annual arrival of Hanukkah meant inviting my non-Jewish friends over to celebrate one of the holiday’s eight nights. I taught them the most important Hanukkah traditions for an elementary schooler: spinning dreidel, eating chocolate gelt and — my personal favorite — consuming latkes. 

My goal of enlightening friends to the joys of latkes still continues, as my Catholic friend and I ventured to the District’s notorious Call Your Mother Deli to try their latkes. Despite the tourist hotspot being a self-proclaimed “Jew-ish” deli, we quickly discovered that, like the story of Hanukkah, it is a miracle that people enjoy eating the squares of salty potato Call Your Mother sells as latkes. For the price of $7.50 for three or $2.50 for one, customers can get oddly thick latkes that for some reason are square-shaped instead of the traditional circle. 

To my tastebuds’ dismay, the expected flavor of a traditional latke’s blend of potato and onion was instead overtaken by salt, muted only by dipping the latke in the perfectly sweet side of applesauce — the dish’s main redeeming quality. The latkes also came with a lackluster side of sour cream, if you fall on that side of the applesauce vs. sour cream dipping debate. While I knew it would be hard to top my grandmother’s homemade latkes, Call Your Mother’s made me want to, indeed, call my grandma and beg her to send me latkes of her own.

Latkes and paleoconservatives at Buffalo & Bergen

Jordan Juliano | Reporter

You might not expect it, but the best latkes in D.C. are right next to the Heritage Foundation, the far-right think tank. Buffalo & Bergen, a New York-inspired dinette two blocks away from Union Station, is the compact modern rendition of a vintage diner — with its vinyl white countertop seating surrounding the narrow green tiled kitchen and 1950s decor.

The “Live, Love, Latkes” ($10) dish provides diners with three old-fashioned latkes straight from the fryer, served with sides of bourbon applesauce and créme fraîche. Cutting into the crispy, golden brown crust, topped with chives, reveals layers of fresh, delicious potatoes and onions. By itself, the latkes, each about the size of a silver dollar pancake, stick to the traditional savory, comforting potato flavors, yet its layers of caramelized onions and additive sides gave the dish an extra kick. 

Dipping the latkes into the créme fraîche, a sour cream-esque buttermilk side, elevates the potato pancakes by adding a rich, creamy flavor that meshes with the dish’s saltiness. On the other hand, the bourbon applesauce, a twist on the traditional applesauce side, provides a sweet cinnamon flavor that compliments the savory taste of the latkes. The neighbors might not be ideal, but the melt-in-your-mouth blend of flavors at Buffalo & Bergen makes their latkes worth the trip.

Loeb’s NY Deli’s Big Apple-sized Latkes

Diana Anos | Staff Writer

Down the street from Farragut West Metro Station lies a taste of New York City in the District: Loeb’s NY Deli. The restaurant features screaming bright red walls, cherry benches and chairs and high top tables. The decoration gave cheugy Y2K Times Square diner vibes, something you would expect Rachel Berry to step into and have her breath taken away. 

After ordering, the dish arrived quickly to the table on a brown cafeteria tray. For $6.99, the delicatessen-aires placed two massive “potato pancakes” on a white plastic plate, alongside sour cream and applesauce in small to-go cups.

The latkes were each the size of a hockey puck and were dark brown with some more burnt black edges. The inside was — for lack of a better word — mushy, with potato shreds oozing out of the pancake. The two completely different textures of crunchy — as a result of it being slightly burnt — and gooey threw me off. The dish had a subtle salty taste, but luckily the sour cream and applesauce added more sweetness, distracting from the off-putting texture. Overall, the dish wasn’t bad, but it was a far cry from the classic New York experience advertised.