Facing a problem? Annie has answers. Ask away!

Dear Annie,

I met a guy on a dating app and we really hit it off and have texted everyday for months now, the only problem is we moved to different states before we could meet in person. We don’t want to label it until we’ve at least met. How do I try to move forward in the relationship if we’re far away from each other?

XOXO,

Forever Talking Stage

Dear Forever Talking Stage,

In “Before Sunrise,” American tourist Jesse convinces French student Céline to delay her travels and spend one romantic night together in Vienna. Despite not exchanging contact information, they promised to meet in the same spot in six months after their romantic night. The sequel to the film, “Before Sunset,” reveals that Jesse went back to Vienna, while Céline did not — proving that if they wanted to, they would.

Your situation inverts Céline and Jesse’s: You have each other’s contact information, but no plans to meet. While it’s said that absence makes the heart grow fonder, you’ve never experienced the presence of what you’re growing fonder for. You aren’t in a long-distance relationship, but instead acquainting yourself with someone you met on the internet using the internet. People behave differently online. While constant texting shows a real connection, understanding whether or not both parties want to meet is the best way to determine how real it could become. 

Don’t neglect texting — as those blue speech bubbles are your bread and butter — but focus on finding additional ways to communicate that further introduce you to the other’s personality. After all, if you were dating in person, you wouldn’t only go on dinner dates, or exclusively see each other to watch a movie. If you haven’t already, incorporate FaceTime and phone calls into your routine. You’ll discover if he is as clever as he seems in his texts and appears as he does in his photos.

Though it may sound cringey, consider scheduling virtual dates. The COVID-19 pandemic wasn’t good for much, but it did create an arsenal of articles with virtual date ideas. Watch a movie you both like — perhaps “Before Sunrise” — over FaceTime or Teleparty, a browser extension that syncs up movies on different devices so you can all watch with your text buddy. Share a playlist and review the other’s music taste. Even if the internet is the common denominator in all of your activities, you can make sure they’re each different. Switching up your routine will allow you to feel closer despite the distance.

But even as you make efforts to deepen your bond, such steps might not be enough to fill the void of being in the same room with your long-distance boo. Ask yourself if there was any overlap while you were in the same place. It’s entirely possible you had bad timing. Even Céline misses her yearned-for meeting in Vienna with Jesse because her grandmother died, preventing her from traveling. If you truly missed each other — perhaps only bothering to review your dating app DMs when you were bored at the airport — take a risk and ask if he would ever want to meet up. You may spark plans and take a step toward labeling your relationship, or you may uncover he doesn’t want to see you outside the screen.

Keeping your relationship to texts places it at risk for burning out as quickly as your phone’s battery. Even if you decide meeting up in person isn’t the answer, experimenting with FaceTime and virtual dates can help you learn more about the person, letting your affection and the connection build. If you navigate the distance, you might make the most of awkward timing and locations — as viewers learn at the end of “Before Sunset,” even Jesse and Céline eventually found a way to make it work.

Another person you’re only talking to on the internet,

Annie