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Dear Annie,

All of my friends are abroad and I chose not to go. Them being gone combined with my intense work demands has really derailed my work life balance and I just work day and night. I really feel I have lost part of myself, and I’m jealous when I see their posts about how much fun they’re having. How do I get out of this rut in stuck in?

Help please,

Lonely Lady

Dear Lonely Lady,

In “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants,” four high-school best friends bid each other adieu for the summer, with two heading to international destinations while the others remain in the states. The story follows each girl with equal care and attention, whether they spent their summer working in Bethesda, Maryland, or lounging on the beaches of Greece — proving you can have a plot-filled, worthwhile experience without hopping on an eight-hour flight. 

The “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants” presents a teenage fantasy — no one’s ever actually had a positive experience shopping for jeans with their friends, after all — but the movie is right that some people stay home and don’t have a life-changing experience abroad. Family and responsibilities keep characters Carmen and Tibby stateside. But they don’t allow their envy or separation to hold them back from fruitful, creative summers, finding love. In the fall, their friendship picks up where it left off, perhaps even strengthened by all four characters’ growth during their time apart.

Along with financial and emotional burdens, spending a semester abroad can require sacrificing academic or professional aspirations, whether that means declining the internship offer you’ve always wanted or taking a less active role in a student organization. Not everyone wants to make that choice. As you mention your work demands as a top stressor, you may be in this group. 

While jealousy is a perfectly reasonable emotion, remember that you made this choice for a reason. Instead of feeling sorry that you stayed behind, try to reframe your thoughts. You made a decision based on your needs instead of following your friends. Sometimes, it’s the most responsible decision to leave the pack to put yourself first. 

While your friends are abroad, embrace the idea of a staycation. Just because you can’t post a picture of the London Eye on Instagram or hop on a RyanAir flight to Amsterdam for the weekend doesn’t mean you should bury your face in your laptop. Schedule time to take advantage of what D.C. has to offer, whether that’s setting a “no work” rule for some or all of Saturdays or using a free afternoon to explore a new neighborhood. 

Tourists are about to descend on the city for Cherry Blossom season, and they wouldn’t be flocking to the District if there was nothing worth exploring. Look beyond Foggy Bottom and stereotypical tourist destinations like the Smithsonian museums. Scour neighborhood newspapers for events or hop on the Metro, escaping the city for towns in Virginia and Maryland. 

Your friends’ travels mean you may have to get comfortable doing things alone. This sounds intimidating, but try to remember the last time you were in public and judged someone harshly because they were flying solo. Odds are that time doesn’t exist.

Be that mysterious, alluring person who brings a book and orders a glass of wine or a Diet Coke at a new, hot restaurant. Even if you don’t feel confident, fake it till you make it. Besides, it could look like your friends abroad have made tons of connections in their program, but I’m positive they’ve had moments where they must decide if they want to hunker down in bed because no one’s available or muster up the courage to visit a museum alone. 

Studying abroad isn’t a part of everyone’s college journey. As GW students, we are lucky to go to a school in a world-class city people dream of visiting, even if most of those people are eighth-grade students on a field trip or diehard fans of “West Wing.” Don’t let the fact that you stayed in the Eastern time zone act as a crutch forcing you into your work. Just as you chose to prioritize your needs, choose to step away from your laptop and embrace your surroundings.

Arrivederci, 

Annie