Facing a problem? Annie has answers. Ask away!

Dear Annie,
I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. Everything is great but I noticed that this semester he has put on quite a bit of weight suddenly and stopped wanting to workout with me. I understand that he is busy but being active is a big part of my life and I am worried that he is creating unhealthy habits by letting himself go that could hinder him in the long run. How should I talk to him about it?
Help please,
The Ghost of Costco
Dear The Ghost of Costco,
The typical GW student’s to-do list consists of attending class, grabbing a GWorld-sponsored Peet’s coffee with a friend and applying to internships so they have something to say when people ask what they’re doing this summer. By the time most get even halfway through their packed schedule, a trip to Lerner feels like a ghost of a thought.
Exercise is one, but not the only, part of an active, healthy lifestyle. Also included are socializing, completing work and ensuring you have enough downtime so you don’t burn out. Catering to each component of an active lifestyle at all times can be impossible, especially for a full-time student. As you say, your boyfriend is “busy.” I imagine he’s occupied with schoolwork, friends and spending time with you — his girlfriend.
Due to a myriad of possible circumstances, his priorities may have changed, with exercise taking a backseat. Consider whether his changing priorities have impacted your relationship. Couples can have different interests. Has his neglect of working out inadvertently led him to neglect you? Express that you miss spending quality time together, perhaps using this as an opportunity to nurture other shared hobbies. Suggest devoting yourself to your different activities or finding casual ways to move together, like going for a monument stroll or trying out a new restaurant. If exercising together was your primary activity, you may be glorified gym buddies.
Redirect your concerns, focusing on what caused the change and rather than the future impact of his habits. While he could just have a busier schedule, his change in habits could indicate something deeper simmers beneath the surface, like family stress or academic pressure. Check in with your boyfriend, having an honest conversation about what’s happening in his life and how you can support him.
Avoid introducing his weight gain into the conversation. Weight fluctuations hinge on more factors than just exercise, like genetics, stress and medications. Regular gym routines do not guarantee avoiding weight gain. Further, college students are still physically and mentally growing. Most likely, you won’t have the same body shape and size you had at 18 forever, nor will you have the same habits in adulthood that you have now in college. Most adults don’t rush to write research papers biweekly or eat meals at a dining hall. The lifestyle and activity routine of a busy, 20-year-old college student doesn’t mirror the habits they may have later in life.
If you still spend a satisfactory amount of quality time together and nothing distressing has sprung up in his life, look inward. Deviating from your regular workout routine because of other responsibilities is not “letting yourself go.” We need to be mindful of our own biases toward health, weight and exercise before expressing our concern over someone else’s lifestyle.
Just because you’ve codified working out into your routine doesn’t mean your boyfriend has to join you each time you venture to the gym. Having different interests can add spice to your relationship, giving you new discussion topics each time you see each other. Just because your boyfriend has rearranged his priorities doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship has reached its last rep.
Spotting some advice,
Annie