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Dear Annie,

I’m a sophomore and 24 years old. I started at GW last year after serving five years in the military. I grew up in a small town and don’t have a lot of friends. I was hoping to make a lot of friends at GW but being a bit older, it makes it harder to relate and make friends. Do you have any advice on how someone as old as me can make friends with fellow undergrads here at GW? Thank you!

If anyone cares,
The 24 Year Old Sophomore

Dear The 24 Year Old Sophomore,

In the cult-classic comedy “Life of the Party,” Melissa McCarthy plays Deanna, a mom who goes back to college at the same university as her daughter. Deanna plays to her age, claiming she’s “essentially a Google” with wisdom stereotypical college kids could never glean from their classes. Embrace the mature, seasoned perspective you bring to college life.

Most people in college seek out people with similar goals or interests as their own, making age an afterthought when building friendship. Most people go to college with the same goal to learn and have fun, so there’s no shortage of people with shared interests. A 22-year-old senior who befriends an 18-year-old first-year in a lecture they put off until their last year has the same numerical age difference as you and the 20-year-old sophomores. No one of substance will avoid getting to know you because you’re a little older. Friendship is more about connection than age. Your shared experiences as a second-year at GW are more than enough to build a foundation.

To start, there’s others on campus in a similar situation to you. There’s student organizations for veterans, giving you the chance to meet other people with experiences like yours. Regardless, make sure you’re engaged in campus life. Whatever age you are, making friends requires putting yourself out there. Join organizations that interest you. Deanna joined her daughter’s sorority and underwent the hazing rituals, even if she found them less than pleasurable. As a 24-year-old military veteran, you will find much of what interests 20-year-olds immature because it is. Embrace the childishness of the shenanigans, or you’ll rob yourself of a full college experience.

Most people who enter their first year as baby-faced 18-year-olds make early friendships by bonding over shared annoyances — whether they’re Vernies forced to ride the Vex or nervous about attending office hours with no-nonsense professors. Take the same approach. Steal opportune moments in class to ask about the reading. Among student organizations, discuss how you both make time for the meeting. Focus on shared experiences, getting to know you through commonalities before thinking about differences. 

Once you have their attention, use your age to your advantage. Deanna in “Life of The Party” never pretended to be younger than she was, and many found her perspective endearing. When the 22-year-olds cheer to future plans to get even more drunk at a fraternity party, Deanna reminded everyone of real-world, impactful goals for their college education, like achieving cleaner oceans. 

While putting yourself out there and owning your age will help you build connections, accept that there are some people and activities that will not fit with you. If you’ve ever been in a class discussion, you know there are stubborn 20-year-olds who cling onto the eye-raising comments they make, informed only by their limited experience in academia. No amount of sharing your real-world perspective will change their mind, making them a poor match for you. 

Further, understand that it’s okay if sophomore year of college activities don’t interest you or, frankly, agree with your stomach. Sophomores may want to spend three nights each weekend out, haunting shady bars that accept their fake IDs. Most seniors would not be caught dead at these establishments. These activities are designed for people just released from their hometown corral looking to blow off steam but who aren’t yet old enough to get into anywhere a person whose 21st birthday has passed might want to have a drink.

Instead of tagging along to Sign of the Whale, propose activities you all enjoy. Everyone has to eat, so few will balk at a dinner invitation. If you both aren’t running to your next class, most would love to grab a coffee or lunch to debrief, diving into what the over-enthusiastic classroom volunteer said this time or considering if changing seating arrangements reflect changed relationships among classmates. 

If you open yourself to agreeable parts of the undergraduate experience, friends will follow.

To the older, wiser hotties, 

Annie