You may not be excelling in your declared major, but you might have a bachelor’s degree in procrastination.
Procrastination might not have taken hold yet, but as we get our first syllabi this week, many will also fall into the trap of poor time management. Being an expert in the field myself, I propose a solution: cage what writer and illustrator Tim Urban calls “the instant-gratification monkey.”
Last fall, I was two hours into the usual homework warm-up — endlessly scrolling through YouTube — when I stumbled upon a rather accusatory video: “Inside the Mind of a Master Procrastinator.” The universe seemed to find a way to reach me. This TedTalk discussed the components of the brain of a chronic procrastinator: the rational decision-maker, the instant-gratification monkey and the panic monster.
It turns out that the instant-gratification monkey was the ringleader of those homework warm-up routines. When looming deadlines pop up, the monkey sucks you into the internet or other distractions. But 24 hours before the deadline, panic usually scares off the monkey and brings you back to reality.
We may not be able to tame our brain’s procrastination monkey, but we can redirect it. The method is what most of us already do best: Use our favorite tactics to reduce future procrastination.
Let’s say you have a paper due next week worth 25 percent of your grade. You’ve ruminated on completing the paper since it was first assigned, but something inside of you just. Can’t. Seem. To. Start. The stress grows as the deadline nears, and you continue to delay the pain. Scrolling through TikTok distracts you from the fact that you have a blank document and a paper due in fewer than 24 hours.
While we can’t get everything done, we can get something done. When caught in this vicious cycle of procrastination, harnessing our own awareness of the instant-gratification monkey is key to being mindful of our future choices.
Urban argues that the monkey only focuses on the present moment, with no memory of the past or wariness for the future. Completing nothing continues the vicious cycle of piling up work and procrastination. So, send the ape to blow off some steam on another assignment.
When I catch myself playing delaying tactics, I switch to another assignment that seems doable. It’s the procrastinator’s Pomodoro method. By the time this assignment is completed, you’ve already made an achievement. You now have some gas in your tank to return to your previous task.
Everyone procrastinates at one point in their lives, but those with low self-esteem, poor self-efficacy, perfectionism and anxiety may be more prone to procrastination. As a master overthinker, I can find myself delaying the start of an assignment for fear of future failure. Often, this fear comes before even opening the rubric. No work will ever be perfect, but it will be worse if you wait until the last minute.
It’s always better to simply start. If you can just knock out one paragraph, you’ve just taken the first step in beating the monkey. When people say “That’s a future me problem,” that’s the monkey speaking.
In fact, researchers found that procrastinating brains believe tasks will become easier in the future. Spoiler alert: They never do. By procrastinating more, we are only setting our future selves up for failure. Maintaining your Duolingo streak instead of doing your homework may seem like a good idea in the present, but your future self will not be amused.
The good news is, right now we’re ahead of the race. We have a whole new school year ahead — free of piled-up assignments to catch up on. So let’s use this awareness of the instant-gratification monkey to stay ahead of the game.
For procrastinators, the return to school after a slothful summer is a rude awakening. Deadlines that once felt so far away are now staring us in the face. But instead of denying the start of the fall semester, we can embrace Urban’s discovery. Sure, it’s tempting to keep pushing off that daunting assignment, but it might be worth ripping off the Band-Aid sooner rather than later.
Growing up, I was taught a valuable lesson: “Sometimes you may produce a piece of crap, but you can always produce a crap on time.” For the record, I filed this article on time … give or take a couple of hours.
Madie Turley, a sophomore, is the contributing opinions editor.
