Facing a problem yourself? Annie has answers. Ask away!
Graphic by Nicholas Anastácio
Dear Annie,
I have been texting this guy I met on Hinge for a few weeks, and he asked me on a date but he looks scarily like (doppelganger??) my gay best friend. All of my friends also think they look alike, and brought it up on their own so I know it’s not just me. I like talking to him, and I want to go on the date but the similarity is slightly weirding me out. I don’t know if that is a good enough reason to validate whether I should go on the date or not. what should I do?
Sincerely,
dating apps are weird
Dear dating apps are weird,
You’re a victim of the Ariana Grande romantic complex: your (potential) partner looks exactly like someone else in your life. For Ariana Grande, it’s her brother. Let’s be grateful yours isn’t of blood relation.
It’s always worth considering that pictures can lie. Depending on the angle, lighting and pose, they don’t always capture someone exactly as they look in real life. While looking at a photo of yourself, it’s not uncommon to find the person in the photo completely unrecognizable. When, or if, you meet your Hinge match in real life, he might not bear such a resemblance to your best friend. But he’ll probably still share some physical similarities…
The fact that this guy looks like your friend is not a reason to cancel the date. Looks aren’t everything. People can look alike and act completely different. But if their similar appearance is still weighing on your mind, look at their key differences to give yourself some respite.
Key difference #1: Asking for this dance
He asked you out on a dating app. Would your best friend ever ask you out?
Key difference #2: Flirty Banter
When messaging on Hinge — which you enjoy — is the banter the same as you have with your friend? If I know anything about friendship and anything about Hinge conversations, they’re not the same. He brings a fresh perspective into your life.
Key difference #3: Always a bestie, never a beau
You want to go on a date with him. Do you want to go on a date with your best friend? Given that you refer to him as your “gay best friend,” the answer is likely no.
Going on a dating-app date is rarely a bad idea. The stakes are so low. You either meet someone you like or have a funny story to tell your friends. If you do go out with this guy, despite his doppelganger, try to give him an honest chance. If you can’t move on from the resemblance, then cordially decline his advances.
If you can concentrate on the differences between the two guys rather than fixate on their similarities, you may have found your ticket out of the hellscape that is Hinge.
Your one-of-a-kind columnist,
Annie
