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The GW Hatchet

AN INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWSPAPER SERVING THE GW COMMUNITY SINCE 1904

The GW Hatchet

Serving the GW Community since 1904

The GW Hatchet

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Ask Annie: Where should I go to hook up if I can’t sexile my roommate?

Freak on, not out, my friend

Facing a problem yourself? Annie has answers. Ask away!


                      Graphic by Nicholas Anastacio

Hi Annie,

I have been talking with this guy for a couple of weeks after meeting in class. Everything is going well and we have made out multiple times and I want to take it to the next level physically. I know he would be interested and we have flirted with the thought but we have an issue with finding a time and location for it. His double roommate is pretty hard to work with and spends most of his time in the room. I also have a similar issue since I live in a quad with shared bedrooms where I was paired with a stranger who also does not seem to be willing to collaborate. We do not have money for a hotel and study rooms are not too appealing for me. What should I do?

Help please,

Future Real Estate Fan


Dear Future Real Estate Fan,

To sexile or not to sexile, that is the question college students looking to get nasty must ask themselves. But when sexiling isn’t the answer, students have to get creative. You’ve come to the right place.

While we all may dream of the day we can buy our own houses — or at least rent an apartment with two separate bedrooms — college students have to make do with dorms and roommates. Since college kids aren’t known for their celibacy, you and your partner will find a way.

Reframe your roommates’ less-than-agreeable feelings about sexiling as an opportunity for further foreplay and connection rather than a roadblock. Anyone can have sex in a bed. But under these circumstances, your first time as a couple will definitely be as distinctive as your relationship, providing the two of you with a story, unlike many other couples on GW’s campus.

The Hatchet’s former sex columnist idealized the top of Phillips Hall as the ultimate spot on any GW student’s sexy bucket list. Even though it’s not the most private place, you have the opportunity to “do the deed” while looking at the D.C. skyline. Maybe sneak up there at dusk on a weekend, after everyone’s left, for a sunset you’ll never forget.

If you want to tailor your first time together, think about a private location that’s important to you. Maybe the classroom where you first met is vacant in the evenings. You could celebrate where it all began and share a dirty little secret together in class the next day.

To steer clear of any academic-related buildings, think domestically. Take a stroll to the laundry room in the late night hours — or during a weekday afternoon when everyone else is in class — for a cleaning. After all, The Hatchet previously voted Thurston Hall’s old laundry room’s bathrooms as the best spot on campus to hook up if your roommate is home.

Before doing the dirty in an alternate location, talk with your roommate to make sure she is really unwilling to “collaborate.” Communicate the etiquette of sexiling. Ask them to name several times that work with them or times when she could be flexible. Promise you will tell them when the room is a no-go zone and when it’s safe to enter again. Promise to clean up after. Most importantly, emphasize that sexiling works both ways. If they ever need the room for similar activities — whether solo or with a partner — they can have it.

You could ask your boy toy to do the same with his roommate — having a final heart-to-heart, explaining the etiquette of sexiling before looking at other places.

Whether your roommates cave at the eleventh hour or the two of you resolve to get your freak on elsewhere, make sure you both feel comfortable and agree on the location. Remember, you can always change your mind.

Enjoy your international affairs and interpersonal relations,

Annie

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