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Ask Annie: I asked a girl out and she said ‘maybe,’ what’s next?

Maybe maybe, baby

Facing a problem yourself? Annie has answers. Ask away!

                      Graphic by Nicholas Anastacio

Dear Annie,

I’ve been texting this girl on hinge for about a week now. I asked her if she wanted to go on a date with me the other day and she said maybe. Idk what she means and what to do next. 

Help please,

Hinging on your reply

Dear Hinging on your reply,

Though men’s publications might have you believe she’s playing hard to get, instead take a hint from the classic 2000s romcom “He’s Just Not That Into You.” The best theory comes from the film’s romantic hero, Alex: “If a guy is treating you like he doesn’t give a sh*t, he genuinely doesn’t give a sh*t.” 

While saying “maybe” to a date isn’t treating you like sh*t, it’s certainly not giving you the enthusiasm you deserve. If she wanted to go out with you, she would have simply said yes. So maybe she’s just not that into you…

Ask yourself why you’re so caught up on this girl. Most people have a type they search for on dating apps. Women, in particular, tend to be more cautious on dating apps, engaging with less potential matches than men, so don’t take it personally. If she doesn’t want to go out with the curated collection of your hottest photos (hopefully you left your Hillternship headshot at home), then she likely won’t be captivated when she meets you in real life. 

Stop messaging her on the app. You’re looking for a date, not a pen pal. Focus on fostering a rapport with your other matches or, if you’re feeling brave, a girl you met in the real world. If you want to be petty, combat her ambiguity with clarity: Send her a message on the app, wishing her well as she searches for a virtual correspondent while you want a dinner date. 

“He’s Just Not That Into You” does suggest, however, that there are exceptions to the rules of dating. The film’s main couple only gets together because the romantic heroine is the exception to the rule that if a person wants to be with you, they’ll tell you. Though blogs like “The Modern Man” would say this is the sign to “chase her a little more,” take the possibility of her being the exception to the rule as a sign to give her a second chance if she replaces her maybe with an affirmation.

Don’t let one “maybe” discourage you. Not to crush anyone’s romantic hopes, but dating is a numbers game. Eli Rallo, a bestselling author and social media dating guru, created the “ten-date theory,” which essentially states that if you shoot your shot with 10 different people, you’ll score at least one time.

Hinge may be the dating app “designed to be deleted,” but your account isn’t ready for removal just yet. Spoiler alert, if you want more affirmative answers, fill your profile with confidence and humor, and swipe up with a question or compliment. Keep trying until you hear a “hell yes.” 

Exceptionally yours,


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