It’s the most dreadful time of the year — if you’re single.
You’ve already survived what feels like 50 different national Boyfriend and Girlfriend days, but nothing hits quite as painfully as the love day to end all days: Valentine’s Day. Luckily, there are plenty of activities ideal for getting out your frustration and distracting from the red, white and pink void Feb. 14 brings.
Try your hand at axe throwing
Channel the rage from your latest heartbreak into the satisfying flinging of a hatchet at Kick Axe Throwing DC or Kraken Axes & Rage, D.C.’s only axe-throwing bars. Kick Axe combines the mature vibes of a hunting lodge with the wholesome fun of an arcade as visitors can choose from flinging hatchets in the astroturf throwing ranges on their first floor or venture up to the second floor for “iceless curling.” Kraken, in contrast, is practically a gym that offers rage outlets from its axe-throwing ranges to wreck-it-rooms to pickleball courts.
If you’re still harboring ill will toward your ex, use a memento of theirs as target practice, whether it be their photo or a poem you pretended to enjoy. Tape the token of your bygone relationship to the target and let loose. You’ll walk away feeling lighter.
Go on a ghost tour
If the single scaries are too much to bear, get a group of friends together and fight real demons on a tour of the District’s various haunted spots. DC by Foot offers daily haunted walking tours of Georgetown, Capitol Hill and a Lincoln assassination tour.
Since the District is filled with ghouls, you can also create your own tour of D.C.’s spookiest sites. Instead of reflecting on that last situationship that might have been, make your way to the Octagon House, a historic home shaped like an octagon that is rumored to be haunted by former First Lady Dolley Madison, or the Exorcist Steps, made famous in the 1973 horror film, for a low-cost but heart-pounding thrill.
Eat and sing your heart out at Hill Country Barbecue Market
This Texas-style BBQ joint located in Penn Quarter has an array of comfort food to choose from, including smoked brisket, sweet cornbread and mac & cheese. Remember, when you go on a date with yourself or your pals the rules of no messy foods no longer apply, so take advantage of the freedom of your singledom and tear into that sauced-up deliciousness.
After gorging on brisket upstairs in the market, head downstairs for live band karaoke and live out your rock star dreams. Researchers have found singing both solo and in group settings can provide relaxation and improve interpersonal connections.
You can sign up to sing alongside their in-house music group or stick to the crowds. Queue up some iconic break-up songs, from Olivia Rodrigo’s heartbreak track “vampire” to Carrie Underwood’s revenge fantasy anthem “Before He Cheats,” and get ready to scream-sing them with all the other lonely hearts at the weekly Wednesday karaoke night.
Reduce love down to a science
Profs and Pints, a lecture series that hosts college professors for lectures at various bars and cafés, is offering two discussions on relationship-related issues at sports bar Penn Social. Monday, GW Associate Professor of Philosophy Laura Papish will be myth-busting misconceptions about love while periodically backed by the dramatic musical stylings of her husband, Chris, on the guitar.
Tuesday, clinical psychologist Brian Sharpless will be breaking down the history of kinks and sexual disorders. This lecture series gets down and dirty with complex topics like the psychology of unique sexual behaviors and will reveal some sobering statistics that just might make you feel better about your dry love life.
Compete in a cathartic costume contest
Rather than moping about, grab your friends and take the Metro out to McLean for a chance to dance away and burn all thoughts of romantic negativity. Shipgarten, a beer garden in Tysons Corner, is hosting an anti-Valentine’s Day party Feb. 17, complete with a make-your-ex-jealous costume contest and a burning of a shrine of all the attendees’ exes, dubbed the “Wall of Lame.”
In addition to burning photos, attendees can also write closure letters to cleanse the bad energy of their romantic past. Getting rid of these reminders of heartbreak in an open-air space is good for the soul and still adheres to fire safety codes.
