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The GW Hatchet


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Serving the GW Community since 1904

The GW Hatchet

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Santos and spice and everything nice: A major-by-major gift guide

There must have been some magic in that cameo they found.
Hatchet File Photo
A wrapped gift sits atop a student’s desk.

While shopping for family members you’ve known your whole life might be easy, trying to find gifts for new friends at GW might be challenging.

Rather than buying your roommate a candle or another pair of slippers, try the more adventurous gifting-by-major. No matter if you’re shopping for chatterbox international affairs majors or the biggest business buff around, use this gift guide to find just what to get your friends this holiday season.

For the Political Science Major

This year, jolly old George Santos has blessed us with a new holiday gift: appearances on Cameo, a website where patrons can buy personalized videos from celebrities.

While your political science friend may not have gotten their dream internship, you can give them something better. For just $500, Santos will feed your political science major’s delusions. You can request inspiring words like, “Yes, your major will be very useful in the real world” and “You’re not like other political science majors.” Santos has an impressive professional record for dishing out lies to the public — telling a couple more about the utility of your friend’s major shouldn’t be an issue. 

For the International Affairs Major

Don’t waste your money on gifts for your friends in international affairs. They already have their holiday gift set out for them: the dinner table.

The holiday gathering is when the devil’s advocate’s reign of terror hits its peak, as they turn the dinner table into their podium. They’ve been cooped up since fall break and just can’t wait to share their new revelations on public policy with their family who doesn’t care. 

Since steering away from politics never succeeds, this year, do your friend’s family a favor and help them avoid in-depth foreign affairs chatter. Buy your Elliott friend’s extended family a set of ultra-protective earplugs to avoid hearing more predictions about 2024 world events.

Remind the family to nod and smile every once in a while, but if they’re lucky, your IA-loving friend may wear themselves out by dessert. Just make sure the family fights the urge to counter any arguments — or else the earplugs will have to stay in until New Year’s. 

For the Business Major

There’s nothing better during the holidays than curling up next to a warm fire on a snowy evening for a movie night. For the business major, give them a DVD of a movie they’re sure to have not seen: “The Wolf of Wall Street.”

This melodrama feels like a motivational and feel-good film for people who spend all day learning how to mix up the terms “selling” and “scamming.” In fact, Jordan Belfort, the lead operator, was a graduate of American University — the D.C. undergraduate experience continues to produce such humbled and dignified young adults. 

For the STEM Major

While a will to live and a hug might be first on their holiday list, postpone these gifts until after they start studying cellular respiration. For your STEM major friend, the best bet may be a copy of Albert Camus’ “The Stranger to give them options for other tracks in life.

Even though the book may be a downer for the typical student, the overall message that life has no meaning is probably more fun than the dregs of physics. When Camus’ wrote: “I may not have been sure about what really did interest me, but I was absolutely sure about what didn’t,” he may as well have been talking about organic chemistry.

For the Undecided Major

School hours can be difficult for the undecided major. If they are in their third year, do not expect an itemized list of gift possibilities when they are still discussing choices between a career as a poet or a rocket scientist.

The wonderful thing is that any gift works because even they don’t know what they want. Since advising appointments aren’t working, go back to the old-school decision maker, the magic eight ball. Responses like “Outlook not so good” and “Reply hazy, try again later” will certainly give the undecided major the clarity they need.

While the magic eight ball may not have majors listed on them, they are often delighted that someone, or something, has made a choice for them. For your undecided friend, the gift of certainty can be their holiday miracle.

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