Maybe you’re off cavorting with your main squeeze, or maybe you’re drowning your sorrows in wine and angsty, subversive break-up songs. However you’re spending your Valentine’s week, check out what’s up in the coming days.

– Single sea captains, equestrian enthusiasts and devoted stoners, fear not: your dream partner is just a bizarre dating website away.

– If you’re looking to avoid this week’s disgusting amounts of teddy bears and chocolate boxes, check out A Better Queue, which filters all Netflix instant-stream movies based on ratings to find a solid movie to take your mind off of cheesy romanticism – and being single.

And if you do have a date but are panicking over where to take him or her this weekend, check out The Hatchet’s Valentine’s Day Guide for some unique D.C. date night spots.