And you thought the Yankees-Red Sox series was exciting. Can you feel the electricity on campus this week? It’s unbelievable. All those Yankees fans wearing their hats while trying to remember that the World Series is still being played. Both of those Marlins fans wearing jerseys that haven’t seen the light of day in years. As the Major League Baseball commercials proclaim, “I live for this!”

Plus, think of how long these fans have suffered. The Yankees haven’t won a championship in three years. And the Marlins have been waiting six years! Add those numbers and multiply the total by seven, and guess what? These two teams have been waiting a combined 63 dog years for a World Series title. 63 years! Thank God one team will finally break their curse.

OK, that’s enough sarcasm. I’ll just say it. This World Series sucks.

I’m only watching out of obligation, not actual desire. I love baseball, and after the unparalleled excitement of the first two rounds, I don’t want to miss the actual crowning of a champion. But honestly, this is like drinking water late at night after drinking beer with your friends. You know you should do it before you go to bed, but you’re just bored and ready to fall asleep.

Is there one good story line in this entire series? Something to make me anxious as game time approaches? Something to prevent me from flipping back and forth between Game Three and “Newlyweds?” If there is, I can’t find it.

I know it’s a lovely story about Marlins fans finally coming back after being alienated by the team’s 1997 post-championship fire sale. But my team, the Brewers, hasn’t been in the playoffs since I was six months old, and Red Sox and Cubs fans have endured decades of pain that were only elongated by this year’s heartbreaks. So don’t expect any of us, or fans from other long-suffering teams, to be happy for South Floridians. This is their second World Series in seven years. Hooray for them.

As for the Yankees as an organization, I can only say “Screw Steinbrenner.” This is his 30th year owning the Yankees, so he must be getting up there in age. I wonder who will take over after he’s gone … not that I’m hoping he dies or anything. I’m just wondering.

No player stories from the Yankees capture my interest. Sure, Jason Giambi (signed with the Yankees for $120 million) and Mike Mussina ($88 million) are chasing their first championships. But as I dig quarters out of my couch for the laundry machine, their quest for a championship just isn’t touching my heart.

Hideki Matsui could become the first Japanese-born position player to win a World Series. But now all of Japan gets decked out in Yankees gear and watches each Yankees game live, which is just great considering the Yankees really need more fans, let alone an entire country.

On the Marlins, you have Miguel Cabrera, the breakout player of the playoffs. He has all five tools, looks natural doing everything and always appears to be having fun. He’s also 20 years old and playing in the World Series. I’m 21 and still taking General Curriculum Requirements. You might assume I’m above petty jealousy, but I’m not.

Josh Beckett, the young and cocky Texas native, has emerged as a future star. But most people I know from Texas are young and cocky, so he seems like old news.

I suppose there are two good stories in Ivan Rodriguez and Jack McKeon. Both are well-respected guys who were unwanted coming into this season and are now leading a team in the World Series. But after the plots and subplots involved with the Red Sox-Yankees and Cubs-Marlins series, I’m going to need more than Pudge and Trader Jack to make this World Series interesting.

Oh well. I guess I’ll just take a cue from those Red Sox and Cubs fans, and start waiting for next year.