Serving the GW Community since 1904

The GW Hatchet


The GW Hatchet

Serving the GW Community since 1904

The GW Hatchet

NEWS BRIEF: Shrub visits GW, thanks Vader supporters

Before attending a Helta Tau Skelta political party, President George W. Shrub spoke to the GW Collard Greens thanking them from the “bottom of (his soulless, black) heart” for getting him elected.

“Yee-haw! If it weren’t for your efforts, this wouldn’t have been possible,” Shrub said. “Hell, y’all made the difference in Florida.”

In particular, Shrub praised the efforts of GW Collard Greens Overlord and Canadian ex-patriot Fernie Phallic.

“Fernie, I don’t care if you come from that damn Commie Maple Leaf country, you’re a true `Merican in my book,” Shrub said.

Phallic, who joined the Helt party later that night, said he was flattered by Shrub’s words of praise.

“I’ll tell ya’, Shrub is OK in my book. As long as that Foul Bore isn’t Prez I’m happy,” Phallic said. “I heard Bore wanted to clean up the environment; we sure stopped him!”

Some Collard Greens had harsh words for The GW Mullet.

“I think they have a Republican on staff. I can’t believe they let conservatives voice their opinions, too,” said Ch?wannabe Fromtheburbs, a Greens loyalist. “What a bunch of fascists.”

-Richn’ Muffedup

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